Dear Literary Agent,

So you’re wondering, why should I represent an author whose idea of literary consistency is following up an apocalyptic science fiction thriller with a zany, light-hearted satire? I get that all the time.

Well, here are The Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Represent Me!

10. My first novel, Solstice, was positively reviewed by Library Journal, Booklist, Midwest Book Review, SciFiNow magazine, and La Bloga. So you know at least five people will buy Inventing Vazquez!

9. Ten if you also count my parents, brother, and closest friends.

8. I know how to shamelessly promote myself like all good authors should. I mean, seriously, I got a URL with my name on it and everything!

7. I’ve had two book signings, one book fair, two interviews, and quite a few gigs under my belt. So you know I’m ready to face legions of fans (or the six people who show up to my next book signing).

6. I studied English Lang and Lit at the University of Michigan and SUNY at Buffalo. So you know I probbly knowe how to rite, really gud 2.

5. My last book was mentioned on sites such as La Bloga, Angry Asian Man, Urban Molecule, and Quiet Earth, and in SUNY at Buffalo’s alumni publication. Which means there are people out there (and a lot of former academic rivals) already waiting to read (or shred) my next book.

4. I’ve got a whole slate of projects lined up (and I’m not talking The Vampire’s Tomb, The Ghoul Goes West, and Dr. Acula). Aside from the sequel to Inventing Vazquez (Electing Choi), I’ve started work on a new dark comedy road trip novel, Suicide Girls, and have plans for a sequel to Solstice, a third book in the Inventing Vazquez storyline, and another possible work, The Mourning Syndrome. So I guess you can say, I’ve got some stuff to keep me busy should you choose to represent me.

3. Readers of Feminist SF – The Blog voted Solstice the top Obscure Feminist SF Book! How many authors can claim their book was voted the top obscure novel of anything?

2. To keep my readers informed of my progress, I run a blog, I regularly check GoodReads and chat with people about Solstice, I’m on Facebook and MySpace, and I regularly Google the book to find new leads and reviews. For research purposes, not because of an ego or anything. Of course not.

And the number one reason why you should represent me?

1. Because I had the good sense to do this on my web site, instead of, say, in a query letter, so you know I’m also well versed in publishing industry protocol.